Clinton Detained by Fox Security in Wake of Wallace Interview


New York, NY (Rotters) – Former President Bill Clinton was detained outside of his New York City office after a brief scuffle in which his small Secret Service detail was overwhelmed by a greater number of Fox Network Security personnel. His detention comes a day after his lambasting of Fox news anchor Chris Wallace on “Fox News Sunday”.

In the interview with Wallace, Clinton aggressively defended his record on terrorism against what he described as a coordinated right-wing conservative attack launched two weeks ago through an ABC fictional movie “The Path to 9/11” which was followed closely and elaborated upon by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News network.

Fox News adamantly denied the allegations of conspiracy and stated that they were in discussions with Alberto Gonzales and the Department of Justice about how best to proceed with possible charges against the former president. Fox News described the former president’s behavior as “sadly scurrilous, and bordering upon slander”. Fox Security stated that the Justice Department would be investigating the possibility of charging the president with “aiding and comforting the enemy” through his nationally televised tirade, which also called into question the actions of the Bush administration.

“My heart really goes out to Chris,” stated popular Fox Network celebrity Bill O’Reilly. “You really do take a chance when you bring some of these far left nut jobs on to your show. But, Chris is young, and I think he’s probably learned something from all of this. And to the former president Clinton, and I use that term loosely, I say to you sir, “Have you no sense of decency?” Show some respect for the office that you used to hold. A conspiracy? This is America, sir, and let this be a lesson to you and all of your left wing terrorist sympathizer friends that the reputation of Fox News is not one to be trifled with. Olbermann, I hope you’re watching.”

Fox Security refused to disclose the location of Mr. Clinton, stating only that the former president was cooperating at this point, and it was uncertain whether he would be turned over to federal authorities.