Clinton Mounts Attack to Free All Delegates

New York, NY (Rotters) – Fresh from stinging defeats in Wisconsin and Hawaii at the hands of the Barack Obama yesterday, Hillary Clinton went into attack mode in New York city today. She immediately launched assaults on what she called Barack Obama’s lack of substance, and announced a new informational website designed to free up all delegates, both “pledged” and “super”, to allow them to “vote their conscience” for the good of the Democratic Party.

Speaking to a small Manhattan College, Clinton stressed that she had much in common with the average worker who goes largely unrepresented and pledged to roll up her sleeves and go to work on them.

“We can undo it!”, said Clinton campaign strategist Mark Penn. “That’s our new campaign slogan featuring Hillary the Pivoter . We will turn this campaign around in Texas and Ohio… in no way will our last stand to be at the Alamo. We will fight over every delegate at stake in a war of attrition all the way to Colorado. Michigan and Florida will have a voice, and it is Hillary.”

Penn acknowledged that the campaign had already begun the process of attempting to flip assigned or pledged delegates. “This is purely a defensive move, as we are just responding to something that the Obama campaign has surely considered if not already done.”

“Hillary is ready to go from day one,” stated Penn, “Do we really need a candidate facing the Republicans in November who hasn’t thought of or tried every way possible to game a system?”