Liberal Democrat Congressman Anthony Weiner adamantly declared that a picture of a male penis on his Twitter account was not his and offered to display his own penis as proof.
“I will pull down my pants and whip it out right now to prove to you that my penis has a very different shape and texture from the penis displayed on my Twitter account”, Weiner stated.
Before Weiner had a chance to display his member several members of the media jumped on him and forced him to zipper up.
“If it’s not yours then we have no story!” said New York Times correspondent Judith Miller. “Please keep it in your pants unless we ask you to whip it out!”
Skeptics claim that even if Weiner did show that his penis size was different from the Twitter photo it would prove nothing.
“Penises vary in size and texture depending on the amount of blood flow and stimulation”, said Washington Post editor Marcus Brauchi. “For example, my own penis is six inches long under normal room-temperature conditions. It can expand to 11 inches when stimulated or reduce to as little as three inches when exiting a frigid pond”.
Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin claims that the photo does resemble her husbands penis though she couldn’t state for certain that it is indeed his.
“After a while they all start to look alike”, Abedin stated.