Convicted Perjurer I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby Reports Early for Imprisonment

Washington, DC (Rotters) – In a stunning development, former vice presidential counsel I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby waved the estimated five weeks grace period in place before he would have to officially report for incarceration. He reported early today to an undisclosed federal penitentiary to begin serving his 2 1/2 year sentence for his role in the Valerie Plame scandal. Libby appears to be embracing a tactic employed recently by a number of other celebrities, including Martha Stewart and Paris Hilton.

While Mr. Libby’s motives remained unclear, many Washington insiders felt that Libby and his legal team were attempting to take advantage of the groundswell of support from conservatives all over America and turn up the heat for an official pardon from President George W. Bush.

“This is not an acknowledgment of guilt by any means,” stated Libby’s chief defense lawyer Larry Robins, “and the appeals process will go on. This is just a way to refocus everyone on the plight of Mr. Libby and his family and impress upon them and his need for continued loyalty.”

Accompanying Libby to the prison were his tearful wife and friend and associate, former New York Times reporter Judith Miller. Ironically Miller herself had gone to prison almost 2 years earlier for her refusal to testify before a grand jury as to Libby’s role in the Plame affair.

“I’m looking forward to collaborating with Mr. Libby on a book about our shared experiences while he’s here,” stated Miller. “At this point I have every reason to suspect that he won’t be here for very long and that the president will do the right thing with a full pardon and our book won’t be necessary. My working title for the book is “All Aspens are Related” and I anticipate it’s going to be a real page turner.”

The White House refused to comment on Libby’s latest move, with newly hired counsel Ed Gillespie stating that they did not want to unduly influence any remaining appeals processes. “Our sympathies again go out to Mr. Libby’s wife, and he should rest assured that the Vice President personally intends to see that she and his family will be taken care of in his absence. The administration will also be scrutinizing the appellate pathway to assure that there are no obstacles to a fair and rapid disposition of Mr. Libby’s case.”

“Mr. Libby is the exemplar of a public servant,” concluded Gillespie, “he is like the stately spruce… tall and unbending under the weight of winter snow and evergreen throughout all seasons.”