Counting Out Paul Krugman

I’m very conflicted this morning. Yesterday, I found out that I know the guy who won the Nobel Prize for Economics, Paul Krugman. No, I don’t know him-know him, like he’d ever call me to help him move his stuff or go have a beer together, and I certainly don’t know him in the biblical sense…I’m not saying that at all, so please get that right out of your heads. What I’m saying is I’ve actually not only heard the guy’s name before, but I’ve even read his stuff. A lot. Of course, when I read his work in the New York Times I thought he was just a snarky, if intellectual, Bush hater like me. Not that I’m an intellectual by any means, please also get that right out of your heads too, But at least I can say, ‘Oh yeah, Krugman, I’ve read his work.’ And that’s where the conflict arises.

As a political satirist, I actually do a fair amount research and reading; after all, you can’t completely misconstrue a political platform or idea without first completely understanding it. Satirical comedy isn’t for the simpleminded. Now, one of the people whose bylines I regularly go to is, or now was, Paul Krugman’s. He’s been consistently anti-Bush and I’ve gotten a lot of story ideas from him. He’s one of my go-to guys for information that I can skew and mock. But now that I know he’s Nobel Prize smart, I’m not sure I can use him again. While I might need intellect, true genius might get in the way. It’d make me uncomfortable knowing I was using the thoughts of a genius for such paltry ends.

(By the way, as an aside, I just found out I’m connected to William Ayers by only one degree of separation…a friend of mine knows him and was invited to stay with him while she looked for a place of her own in Chicago. She decided to move to the Southwest instead, but there was a slim chance that if it happened and I called the house phone, William Ayers might have answered, told me never to call his house again and hung up on me. Pretty Cool. I guess that also means I’m connected to Barack Obama by two degrees of separation, since he would probably hang up on William Ayers now whenever he called too. We should all go out together sometime and hang up…out with each other. And lastly, the fact that this woman I know knows and counts William Ayers as her friend is for me complete and utter proof that Mr. Ayers must now, whatever his past, be a fine and decent man. This woman is a good Christian, intelligent and moral to a fault and dammit, I’m should be the only shady character she knows.)

Anyway, back to Professor Krugman…see? Now I have to start thinking about him as ‘Professor’ Krugman. The problems are already starting. I only usually refer to professors when I’m mocking them. I guess I’ll have to go back to fuck-ups like Alan Greenspan and Phil Gramm for my information. So congratulations Professor Krugman on your well deserved achievement. I’ll never look at you the same way again, or at all for that matter.