Unconfirmed sources report that Secret Service agents have discovered a vial of crack cocaine aboard Air Force One. The discovery of the drugs was made while the President was visiting the Middle East and predicting a comprehensive treaty would be signed within a year. The amount of the cocaine was undisclosed, but our sources indicate that the vial of 10 rocks was found “…in the big office.”
Air Forces One has been grounded and the DEA has been called in to investigate. The President has denied any involvement with the drugs and has vowed to bring to justice anybody on his staff who may be. The full search of Air Forces one is expected to take a few days including interviews with everybody aboard.
“I think we are going to fine the guilty party.” Says DEA agent Smith. “It shouldn’t be that hard. All we have to do is interview enough people and find out who has been acting high. Crack is a powerful drug so if we can find anybody who has been acting grandiose , euphoric or grossly optimistic we will have found our man.
This discovery is a bit of a blow for the President as he comes off an historic visit to the Middle East. The events cast a shadow over Bush’s dramatic prediction that the Arab Israeli conflict will be solved before he leaves office in 2009.