Crisis Atmosphere at Camp David Retreat for President this Weekend

Camp David, MD (APE) – The President and an entourage of his insiders this weekend left for Camp David, and an anonymous insider described the mood as somber. President Bush in the coming week is facing a confluence of events which may signal a fatal blow for his floundering administration. Enduring criticism remains over the administration’s poor response to the continuing Hurricane Katrina tragedy, growing unrest and dissention over the war in Iraq, and declining poll numbers. Many feel the situation has been worsened with the President’s controversial appointment of personal lawyer Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court. Add to this the the high probability of indictments this week of key Administration officials Karl Rove and Lewis “Scooter” Libby, and a potential second round of devastation to the Florida panhandle from Hurricane Wilma, and you have the “Perfect Storm”.

Miers accompanied the President this weekend to Camp David along with key insiders, said to include Libby and Rove. Goals for the retreat were said to be how best to deal with the fallout from the Miers nomination as well as how to best utilize the potential disaster from a possible catastrophic strike from Hurricane Wilma.

Whitehouse Spokesperson Trent Duffy stated, “This is just business as usual for President Bush… he remains on the job. It’s inspiring the learning curve that he has mastered since Hurricane Katrina. This is certainly not “the same old song” that a lot of critics are throwing out there”.

Duffy went on to state that the President was continuing to push “Faith Based” initiatives, and that this was also the focus of this weekend’s retreat. Final discussions occurred concerning a revamping of FEMA which will be rolled out over this coming week. President Bush has spearheaded an effort to end the crucifixion of FEMA over it’s response to Hurricane Katrina. The President’s Evangelical focus group has been exploring ways to make FEMA more proactive and sensitive to the theories of Divine Retribution in preventing catastrophe before it occurs. The re-vamped agency will be called Blas-FEMA and it will explore ways in which the country may protect itself through mandatory prayer and eradication of practices such as abortion, birth control, premarital and Gay sex, and Gay marriage. Aide post-disaster would be channeled preferentially towards areas which complied with the new Federal mandates. Ms. Miers states that there is legal precedent for the plans.

Mr. Duffy further stated, “Already, this strategy appears to be working. With just the small focused effort of our little prayer group we have succeeded in stalling Wilma over Mexico resulting in it being downgraded to a category 2 hurricane at present. Look at the money that has been saved and potential damage averted as well.”

Governor Jeb Bush of Florida was quoted earlier this week as saying, “You gotta ask, why us…” in reference to the potential hit from Wilma. In a break from his brother’s strategy, Gov. Bush shortly thereafter elected to channel his “Warrior Chang” persona to deal with storm preparations, and was quoted later this weekend as saying simply, “Bring it on…”

Mr. Duffy refused to quote on the plight of advisors Rove and Libby, citing the fact that the investigation is still ongoing, but stated that this issue was a top priority of Blas-FEMA focus.