Dallas Federal Reserve Bank President Richard Fisher asks China to buy U.S. toilet paper

DALLAS — Dallas Federal Reserve Bank Richard Fisher spent time on Sunday asking the former porn actress China Lee to keep buying U.S. toilet paper. The U.S. is presently running an account deficit with China Lee. China presently holds some $1 trillion worth of U.S. toilet paper reserves.

Richard Fisher explained that toilet paper of other countries isn’t the same quality as is U.S. toilet paper, saying that, “Gentlemen prefer American toilet paper.”

This fiscal year alone, the U.S. government is expected to swap around $2 trillion worth of U.S Treasury toilet paper in exchange for $2 trillion worth of Federal Reserve Note toilet paper. This has caused concern with China, who says she may not be able to continue buying toilet paper at the same pace she has for the last few decades, and also said that she is concerned that her toilet paper reserves would be severely devalued with such policy.

“I’m starting to run out of room to store all of this toilet paper that I have accumulated since the 1980s,” said China Lee. “I made a lot of toilet paper when I was active in the porn industry, and since then I have continued to make more and more.”

China is considered to be not only the wealthiest woman, but the wealthiest person in the world. She is the only trillionaire. She is sitting on so much U.S. toilet paper that many economists have expressed concern that if she were to start selling her U.S. toilet paper, it would become totally worthless.

“The second China Lee stops buying U.S. toilet paper and starts selling it, our toilet paper and entire economy may collapse,” said Robin Banks, an economist with Risky Ventures, Inc. “To the extent that she doesn’t buy U.S. Treasury toilet paper, the Federal Reserve will have to monetize it with their own toilet paper.”

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