David Hasselhoff detained as Germany hands down 13 CIA Related Indictments

Berlin, Germany (Rotters) – Transplanted American singing sensation and television star David Hasselhoff was arrested early today by German police as the government followed through with the arrest of 13 reported CIA operatives. The arrests are as a result of investigations into the kidnapping and subsequent torture of German citizen Khaled Masri in January of 2004.

The Masri case, as well as the US government’s maintenance of illegal detention centers in Europe has soured relations between the United States and Germany. Other indictments filed today include charges against four pilots, a medic, and other members of what German government officials are calling a CIA operations unit. The indictments occurred as the Italian government reportedly is considering similar arrests for 26 Americans and nine Italians in the kidnapping and torture of Egyptian cleric Abu Omar.

The German government claimed that the high-profile actor/singer’s resurrected European career and popularity were largely “window dressing” and funded indirectly by the CIA itself. They also claimed that the CIA was responsible for the recent attempt at turning Hasselhoff’s 1989 hit “Looking for Freedom” into the number one downloaded single on UK music charts.

A publicist for Hasselhoff dismissed the charges as ridiculous. “The man has an earlier role as an actor driving around in a super sophisticated spy car and everyone does all paranoid,” he said. “David is a talented and hard-working man who has divested himself of American influence, and has earned his European success on his own.”