DC Comics Announces Batwoman out of Retirement and the Closet, Dobson Vows to Shove Her Back

Colorado Springs, Co (APE) – DC Comics today announced that Batwoman was coming out of retirement and her new career will be starring as the first lesbian superhero. Kathy Kane, the older aunt of Batgirl will now be “a lesbian socialite” by day and a spandexed crime fighter by night.

The news spurred an immediate response from Christian advocate Dr. James Dobson and his Focus on the Family group. Dobson announced that he would be starring in a new series this fall called “Moonbatman” which will attempt to combat what his group perceives as an assault on the moral values of American families. The group vows to “shove Batwoman right back into the closet”.

Dobson insisted that the new series was not, in effect, a “knee jerk reflex” to DC Comics announcement of an openly gay character and superhero, but that Focus on the Family had been working on the “Moonbatman” concept for over a year. “We felt that this character was a great way to promote Christian values and fight for our kids against the likes of Spongebob,” stated Dobson. “Now that DC Comics has elected to foist this sacrilegious filth upon our children, we just felt it was an opportune time to introduce everyone to Moonbatman.”

Dobson went on to praise the concept of Moonbatman and stated that talks were in the works to cast conservative Chrisitian author Ann Coulter in the very gender specific role of “Robin”, Moonbatman’s faith-based sidekick.

“Moonbatman is a great concept,” stated Dobson, “He will rely always on his religious wits, but is not afraid to engage in some serious smiting if he has to. Kids will love his “bible-belt” and “smite-er-rang”. He will strike fear and loathing into the hearts of liberals and gays everywhere.”

A spokesperson for Focus on the Family stated that they expected the show to debut on the Fox Network sometime later this summer, possibly around the time that DC Comics releases the first issue featuring Batwoman.