Deadline Announced: Iraq Troop Withdrawal

Baghdad, Iraq(UCS NEWS) The long awaited plans for the American troop withdraw were released today. The Baghdad Green zone press core gathered at the bombed out remnants of the Palestine Hotel to hear the briefing. In a stunning policy reversal US troops could be on their way home before the American Mid-term elections.

Speaking from behind a bulletproof podium Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi detailed his plan for the American troop withdrawn. “Now that we have reached the 2000 killed in action, we expect to see the American people demand the withdrawal.” al-Zarqawi went on to explain the insurgency has been going well and that Muslims of the world must “Stay the course.”

When asked about the insurgent losses the Al-Qaeda commander stated “Each loss of life is heartbreaking, and the best way to honor the sacrifice of our fallen troops is to complete the mission and lay the foundation of peace by spreading freedom,”

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was then pressed to explain why the Bush Administration has been struggling. “I think the falling support for the war has been one factor pushing down Bush’s popularity in public opinion polls, I find it funny that both US critics and Osama bin Laden have long called on the Bush Administration to bring troops home.”

General George William Casey speaking from the US command complex opposite the Palestine Hotel denied the US planned to withdrawal. “President Bush doesn’t pay attention to public opinion polls anymore, he’s a lame duck why should he care” It seems General Casey may be right, with us oil companies showing record profits The Presidents main constituents can’t complain about the situation in Iraq.

The war in Iraq aside, al-Zarqawi was also critical of George Bush’s choice of Harriet Miers to join the US Supreme court. “It’s sad that the Presidents personal lap dog can make the highest court in the land.” Abu Musab al-Zarqawi closed his press conference with a sober reflection. “Iraqis and Americans share a common bond and a common purpose. Having US troops return home is a cause worth fighting for,”