Washington, DC (Rotters) – Administrators for the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence Rhode Island late today confirmed that their prized cat Oscar had gone missing. White House authorities late this evening confirmed that the cat in question had mysteriously shown up there. Oscar was recently featured in an essay in the New England Journal of Medicine in which he was heralded for his uncanny ability to predict the eminent deaths of hospice patients.
It was unclear whether Oscar had made the journey from Rhode Island to DC on his own or had assistance. White House authorities stated that the cat seemed to have shown up late today and appeared to wander aimlessly and confused for a few hours before finally settling in the White House office occasionally used by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Oscar has thus far resisted attempts to have him removed and returned to his home at the Rhode Island hospice center.
Dr. David Rosa, the author of the original essay about Oscar and his uncanny ability to predict death verified that this was precisely the behavior that has been observed in Steere House. “I can only surmise that there is a cancer in the White House and its likely terminal,” stated Rosa. “Oscar is almost never wrong, but this is the first interest that he has shown in politics.”