Death Star Closed for Asbestos removal : Storm Troopers launch class action lawsuit

(Orbit Over Alderaan) Ucs Imperial News: According to sources inside the Imperial Administration the Death Star will be evacuated tomorrow and closed for asbestos removal. Plagued by construction delays, cost over runs the battle station has become the symbol of industrial tyranny. Adding insult to injury the Interstellar Union of Combat Storm Troopers staged a walkout and has launched a class action law suit against Geonosian Industries.

According to Archduke Poggle the Lesser, leader of the Geonosians. “The Death Star was build to Imperial Specifications, it’s not the fault of Geonosian Industries that the Asbestos abatement policy was extended to off world military installations.” Poggle went on to demand, in a forceful but respectful tone, that his firm be granted a waiver by the Emperor.

Poogle them warned the Union of Combat Storm Troopers, that Geonosian Industries has “Hired a crack legal team including Boba Fett and 4LOM….to see this case ends with a suitable conclusion.”

Commander T-741 the spokesmen for the Union of Combat Storm Troopers, stated “Geonosian Industries knew the asbestos inside the Death Star was a problem, but when the new xt-34 Storm Trooper helmet air handling units failed to protect troopers the records were destroyed.” Commander T-741 also claims that a representative of the Sith was called to silence any whistle blowers.

The Death Stars, the Galactic Empire’s ultimate terror weapons, were battle stations several hundred kilometers in diameter and mounting a directed energy superlaser capable of completely destroying a planet with a single shot. However, the first Death Star’s defenses were not tight enough to stop starfighters from penetrating them.