The entire United States Government was foreclosed on by major banking institutions today and the entire government will be auctioned off to foreign investors.
“We did everything we could”, said Republican House Speaker John Boehner. “It’s all the President’s fault!”
President Obama firmly disagreed with Boehner. “If Congress had simply done as I suggested we wouldn’t be in this bind!”
Meanwhile, Bank of America Chairman Joseph Price announced that the banking system does not have enough cash to “float” the government. “I’m glad the President helped us out when we needed it”, Price stated. “We simply don’t have enough money to cover even a fraction of the debt the US owes. As it stands the United States government will be foreclosed and sold to the highest bidder”.
China has indicated some interest in purchasing much of the United States military, Congress and some national parks. Russia has indicated it may buy the Supreme Court. Various other countries such as India, Japan and the European Union have expressed interest in purchasing the other branches of government.
Obama stated firmly that he will only sell the country as a whole, not in bits and pieces.
“It’s the UNITED States. Not the bits and pieces states”, Obama reminded us.