Delay Fakes Death to Avoid Prosecution

Sugarland, TX (APE) – Police arrested and later released disgraced Texas representative Tom Delay yesterday, accusing him of trying to fake his own death to avoid prosecution.

Thomas Dale Delay, 58, had a relative call the local court yesterday and report that he had died earlier in a fight in Washington, DC, authorities said. The call came less than a month after he attempted to escape from charges of bribery and money laundering brought by prosecutor Ronnie Earle.

He was captured Wednesday morning and jailed, and now owes taxpayers more than $300,000 in court costs, authorities said.

“Tom Delay is the ultimate deadbeat Republican politician, faking his own death in order to avoid prosecution,” a sheriff’s department spokesperson said.

Delay, an exterminator, has been living in Washington, DC and impersonating an ethical elected official for about 10 years, investigators said.

Authorities are working to identify the caller who told the court that Delay was dead. Lawyers for Mr. Delay were incensed by the recent turn of events and insist, again, that Mr. Delay is completely innocent. They stated that the phone conversation was a huge misunderstanding and overreaction on the part of the local police force in which the caller had merely made a casual references that Mr. Delay was “politically dead”. Delay was later released on his own recalcitrance.