Delay Surrenders Passport in Dallas

Dallas, TX (Rotters) – Reeling from new charges of money laundering yesterday, Representative Tom Delay was forced to surrender his passport yesterday at Dallas Love Field International Airport. Delay became angry with security staff when he apparently was flagged by their computer system as a person of interest. He was apparently mistaken for Tamal Delalai, a reputed number two man for terrorist mastermind Osama Bin-Laden.

Delay claimed that he was headed for a short golf excursion to the Mecca for all golfers, St. Andrews in Scotland. Mr. Delay did indeed have a ticket to Scotland, but also found on his person was a ticket from Scotland to Aruba leaving the next day.

Mr. DeLay photographed going through security by an alert tourist

Mr. Delay reportedly became incensed when the briefcase he was carrying was sent through the new state of the art x-ray machine, despite his claims of diplomatic immunity. Officials refused to disclose what was found in the subsequently confiscated briefcase, pending possible legal actions or charges. Mr. Delay then surrendered his passport without further altercation.

An example of the capabilities of homeland security’s state of the art x-ray technology

Homeland Security spokesperson Patrick “Duffer” Mulligan stated, “Although it was not perfect, today, America should be proud of the system that we have in place to guard our country. In light of the recent indictments, Mr. Delay probably would have been put into the database in the next few days anyway.”

Ironically, Mr. Delay has been a staunch supporter of increased security since 9/11, and has had little sympathy for those mistakenly flagged as risks in the past.

While Mr. Delay refused to comment for this piece, a spokesman under conditions of anonymity stated that this is just further evidence of the depth and breadth of a vast left wing conspiracy determined to besmirch the character of Mr. Delay.