Democratic Registration Efforts Go Down The Toilet!

Unconfirmed sources report the Nevada election is going down the drain. Republican front group Voters Outreach of America has been working tirelessly to gather thousands of new voter registration forms. Voters Outreach gathers many forms by staking out prime spots in front of malls, grocery stores and government buildings. The operation ran smoothly until employees of the private voter registration company encountered problems with the registration equipment.

Staffer had been instructed to separate the Democratic and Republican forms to facilitate “batch” processing. Employees grew concerned with the Hydro-matic 2004 used to process democratic forms malfunctioned “Spewing cards, water and shit all over the office!” Employee Eric Russell managed to retrieve a pile of soiled paperwork including signed voter registration forms, all from Democrats. Russell confirms “against my supervisors wishes, I took them down to the Clark County Election Department instead of using the Hydro-matic 2004.’

The private registration company called Voters Outreach of America; AKA America Votes confirmed that instead of hand carrying the Democratic registration forms to the Clark County Election Department “We expedited the processing with the new Hydro-Matic 2004. The company spokesmen Johnny Ontherun reached unconfirmed sources by cell phone, added “We didn’t see the Republican registrations as so urgent so we collected them in boxes them waited until the next day to submit the forms in person to election officials.”

The Las Vegas landlord says Voters Outreach was evicted for non-payment of rent. Another source said the company has now moved on to Oregon where it is once again registering voters. Records show the company has been largely, if not entirely funded, by the Republican National Committee. Similar complaints have been received in Reno where the registrar has asked the FBI to investigate.