Democrats Vow to Pay More Attention to Political Concerns of Idiots

Confronted with a chart of relative IQ’s of blue and red states in the recent elections, the leadership of the Democratic party said recently that they were forced to reevaluate their assumptions about the constituency they were tasked to represent. The chart below shows the nation divided along stupidity lines: 19 of the 24 states with the highest average IQ voting Democrat and the 31 of the 34 states with the lowest, Republican.

“The results certainly are striking,” said Tom Daschle. “It really shows you that we’re just not getting our message across to most Americans.” DNC spokesman Bull Buchanan said that the party had made serious errors in recent years overlooking the fact that a majority of Americans are idiots and in failing to take their specific political concerns into account.

“George Bush didn’t win,” Buchanan said, “John Kerry lost. The Republicans have managed to get a monopoly on addressing idiotic issues, and idiots vote for them because they believe that George Bush cares about the things they care about. Trying to address the real interests of idiots doesn’t work because it neglects the fact that idiots are too stupid to know what their real interests are. We’ve made some mistakes, but we’re not too big to admit that, as Americans, we can be idiots too,” Buchanan said.

In response to an article in the British political science journal, The Daily Mirror, investigating the rise of the American stupidity movement in recent years, Buchanan insisted that the Democrats should not look backwards to failed policies of the past, but instead needed to shed its “chronic state of denial” and “recognize that America fundamentally is a nation of idiots and deserves political representatives who will respond to their idiotic concerns.”