Crawford TX– Calling House Speaker Nancy Pelosi ‘a traitor’ the president delivered an agitated speech from his Texas ranch, labeling the Democrats in congress a terrorist organization.
“How can we win this war, when elected members of Congress consort with the enemy? I am officially declaring all Democrat members of the government, terrorists. I am giving orders to my Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez to yank their diplomatic passports, put them on the no-fly list at all airports. and have them subject to information extraction by our friendly, cooperative interrogators in Morocco.”
The carefully selected military audience, excused from going to Iraq, if they applauded and cheered loudly, ….applauded and cheered loudly.
” They didn’t get my permission to go to them foreigners!” shouted the President. Who do they think they are? I’m running the country, not them!”
Vice President Dick Cheney, seated nearby, his pacemaker beating dangerously, fired a shotgun into the air. ” It’s about time!” he roared as two pigeons fell nearby.
Upon hearing the news, Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton responded with, “The president has opened a new front in his war! We will take to the hills and guerilla warfare will wreak our wrath on the Republicans!
General David Patreaus, commander of the U.S. forces in Iraq said that he can no longer meet with Democrat members of congress. ” It would be ‘ consorting with the enemy’ under our Articles of War. I am trying to arrange a meeting with Osama bin Laden so we can sort out this confusing situation.”
Evangelist Pat Robinson praised the President. ” I’m glad he has finally determined who his real enemies are. All those Islamo-democrats should be beheaded. If they went along with our Our brilliant Commander-in-Chief from the beginning, the war would have been over long ago.”
Unconfirmed rumors say that several State Department officials of Democrat persuasion at the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad have asked the Taliban for political asylum.