Dennis Hastert: 'Foley scandal is the fault of liberals'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to what Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert calls “suspicious” timing for the breaking of the scandal, Congressman Hastert said the whole thing must be the fault of liberals.

“It’s right before the elections. Who stands to gain from this? Ask yourself, cui bono? This Democratic ‘October Surprise’ was clearly stage-managed by a bunch of liberals,” Hastert told a group of reporters.

Other Republicans are now saying they believe that any time a Republican does something bad, it is only because the liberals made them do it.

“Think about it,” Republican Party strategist Emma Crooke said, “Democrats benefit from Republican scandals. I can only conclude that Democrats made Mark Foley send those instant messages to underage pages.”

Congressman Dennis Hastert says that the Democrats are running a super top-secret “Republican scandal machine,” which is used to make Republicans commit scandalous acts. He also called on Americans to join with him in blaming the Democrats for Mark Foley’s behavior.

“The Democrats run things around here. They control the Congress, they control me. If I do something wrong, it is because the Democrats made me. The Mark Foley scandal is the fault of liberals, and it is important to not place blame where it doesn’t belong,” said Hastert.