Dick Cheney Accused of Cutting Iranian Fiber Optic Cables

Unconfirmed sources report that Vice-President Dick Cheney was on vacation in Alexandria, Egypt, during the time under sea cables were cut. The White House has denied that Cheney was in the area when the cables were attacked, stating he was in a ‘totally different undisclosed location’ at the time. Congress has launched an investigation as to where exactly the Vice-President was when the cables were cut.

The latest controversy surrounding the vice-president was ignited when photos of Cheney ‘apparently’ on vacation surfaced three days ago. The photos taken of Cheney in scuba gear clearly show the Vice-President holding an AMK-25S Wide Opening Cable Cutter. While the exact location the picture was taken is not known, the picture is clearly recent and the background appears to be of an arid landscape.

“Am I surprised that Cheney is involved with these incidents? Not, really.” says Cheney Watcher Kenneth Bigsby, of the government watchdog group Truth Vision. “It is well known that Cheney wants to put pressure on the Iranians. Shoot, it is well known that Cheney wants to invade the Iranians. This attempt to disrupt Iran’s access to the Internets is an example of the ‘under the radar’ shenanigans Cheney favors when overt action is not possible.”

The damaged cables are currently under repair and are expected to be fully operational in just a few days.