Dick Cheney confirms: Democratic campaign contributions support Al-Qaeda

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed sources report Vice president Dick Cheney will personally release information showing how Democratic congressional contributions helped finance Al-Qaeda and the UK airline Bomb plot. Cheney has been leading the terror investigation for several months now but has just revealed that Ned Lamont, Jon Tester, Bob Casey are the lead targets of his investigation.

In April of ’06 George W. Bush has assigned Dick Cheney to head up the “USA Internal Terror Task Force”. The Cheney task force has been working diligently to describe the “Fifth column” run by Democrats and Al-Qaeda. The Targets of the task force all seem to be Democrats poised to defeat incumbent Republicans.

Speaking to reporters in Washington last week Cheney explained the operation of the task force. “We are looking at close congressional races in predominately Republican “safe” districts. When we see a problem a team is assigned to fabricate evidence, spread lies and otherwise create fear, uncertainty and doubt.” The policy is nothing new to the Bush administration, as they speak often of the growing threat Democratic victories portend.

Dick Cheney himself has been busy in Connecticut. Cheney confirmed to the press that Joe Lieberman was in fact on the verge of catching Osama Bin Laden when he lost the Democratic primary. According to Dick “The loss was a shocking setback to the global war on Islamic fascist terrorism.” He also stated the victory of Ned Lamont, a know Al-Qaeda associate “Just shows the dangers of allowing the average American to vote as they please.”