Dick Cheney Rushes Home to Cut Spending on Social Programs To Save America

Unconfirmed sources report that Vice President Dick Cheney has cut short his Middle East trip to make sure cuts in social programs for the poor were passed in a close Senate vote today. The Vice President is required by law to cast the deciding vote in the Senate if there is a tie. The Senate was working on an important budget bill that cut $40 billion of spending on the poor to partially fund $110 billion in tax cuts for rich Americans. Cheney arrived in the nick of time to break the tie and cut the spending.

“This is very important legislation for the nation and the Vice President has done his duty and perhaps saved the country.” Said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. “The money being wasted on student loans, foster care for children, and payments to elderly Americans on Medicare was bankrupting America. We have come within a hairs breath of disaster today and I’m truly proud to say that I stood with Dick Cheney when we cut spending to fund even more tax cuts for the rich to save America.”

“The courage shown by the Vice President today reminds me of his courageous service to the country during the Vietnam war.” Says Senator John McCain. “Dick is s tough guy who knows how to make the gutsy decisions. Cutting spending on social programs to fund tax cuts during war time takes a kind of courage that few American can say they poses. I just can’t tell you how proud I am of this man.”

Cheney was greeted with wild cheers and a blizzard of thrown flowers as he left the Senate chamber after breaking the 50 to 50 deadlock. “I did what I had to do for America.” Said Cheney.