(El-Paso,Texas) Unconfirmed sources report the US Vice President Dick Cheney will be awarded a Nobel prize. The news reached Cheney as he was delivering one of his hallmark “Democrats are supporting Al-Qaeda” tirades. The Vice President was “pleasantly surprised” at the news and he even flashed a smile to the surprise of all attending the event. The upbeat mood did not last long, soon after as it was revealed the award was not Alfred Nobel prize, it was in fact the Ricky “Stubbs” Nobel prize for “Shit Talking Texas Rubbish”.
Slightly less well know than “Alfred” Nobel, Ricky “Stubbs” Nobel was a fast talking El-Paso used car salesmen famous for rapid fire rhetoric and economy with the truth. The fans and victims of Ricky “Stubbs” Nobel now honor his memory with an annual awards presentation.
The “Stubbs Nobels” winners do not receive cash prizes. Depending on the category won the award may maybe anything from a case of beer to a savage beating with tire iron. The award for the “Shit Talking Texas Rubbish” division was 2 bottles of Jack Daniel’s Whiskey and a clubbing with a 2 by 4. Apparently several dozen attendees volunteered to make the official presentation to Vice president Cheney.
While the Vice President was unable to attend the award ceremony do to safety and security concerns, many other “Stubbs Nobel” winners did attend. Ann Counter received the “She nags worse than my wife award” again, while George W. Bush was awarded the “Will the Moron ever learn” lifetime achievement award.