Unconfirmed sources report the Bush administrations Vice President Dick Cheney has been cooling his heels in the handicapped bathroom stall on the fourth floor of the West Bloom Field shopping mall. While the president risked his very being appearing in public after the 911 attack, Dick Cheney
“just sat on his can”.
Mr. Cheney described the handicapped bathroom stall on the fourth floor of the West Bloom Field Michigan shopping mall as “comfortable” and “almost homelike”. A far cry from his luxury homes in Colorado and Washington D.C., the handicapped bathroom stall is equipped with only a secure satellite phone, black and white television, high capacity air freshener, 3 issues of Hustler magazine and brushed aluminum hand rails.
The exact location of the handicapped bathroom stall on the fourth floor was unknown until Robert Novak of CNN broke the story. Novak is now under investigation for illegally publishing the classified information. CIA director Porter Goss is incensed that Robert Novak has ruined another secret operation. According to CIA staffers, Porter Goss has been pulled away from his partisan purging of the intelligence and is now forced to provide the Bush Administration cover for NOT pursuing Novak’s second treasonous act.
With his location disclosed Vice President Dick Cheney has had to move on from his handicapped bathroom stall on the fourth floor located behind the men’s pants. He will be missed by store employees, The staff of the West Bloom Field shopping mall had learned to see past the Vice Presidents brooding “troll like” mood swings and partisan rhetoric. “We all kinda got used to the out of order sign hanging up in there. We would all say ‘Dicks in the house’ , he thought that was sorta funny” commented a smiling staff member Ronny Cliff.
And from other published reports, janitor Ronny Cliff has something to smile about. In a secret ceremony the 57 year old assistant janitor was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom for “Janitorial service well beyond the call of duty”.