Little Havana, FL (AP) – George Bush, who took control of America in a bloodless coup in November of 2000, temporarily relinquished his presidential powers to his brother Jeb on Monday night prior to undergoing political cosmetic surgery.
Bush, less than a month after his 60th birthday, did not address reporters after the secretive ceremony in which he turned over authority to his brother Florida Governor Jeb Bush. Instead, a statement was read by his press secretary Tony Snow. It was the first time in 5 1/2 years of absolute rule that Bush has given up power.
In the note read by Secretary Snow, Bush stated that he was undergoing the political surgery after an apparent tumble this weekend from the steps of Air Force One. The fall was attributed to recent stresses associated with a continually failing diplomatic mission for the peace process between Lebanon and Israel, and what some describe as a cancerous civil war in Iraq fomented by administration policy.
“This procedure obligates me to undertake a month of rest,” press secretary Tony Snow read from the letter. “Extreme duress had provoked in me a sharp intestinal fortitude crisis with sustained bleeding of political capital that is obligated me to undergo a complex political makeover.”
It was not immediately clear what type of procedure would be undertaken and just how radical an alteration Bush would undergo, but political physician Karl Rove stated that one of the main goals would be to stanch sustained bleeding.
It remains unknown how serious Bush’s political conditions is, but “any major alteration in a 60 year old politician is life-threatening,” stated Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman. Lieberman cited potential complications such as chronic appearances of weakness and incompetence. “He’ll get better, without a doubt,” said Lieberman. “Karl is a really good spin doctor, and he’s in great shape.”
In perhaps a real indication of the seriousness of the president’s condition, it was noted that there was no real protest over the president’s ignoring official constitutional orders of succession in bypassing Vice President Dick Cheney.