E-E-T: Health Care Reform on TV…At Least, Sarah Palin Goes NRA and Restricted Airplane Bathrooms.

(Charlotte-NC) Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at the National Rifle Association’s annual meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina this May. Palin, in addition to being a former Governor of Alaska and nemesis to “The Family Guy”, is a hunteress and advocate of the right to bear arms. “Governor Palin is one of the most requested speakers in America today,” Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s executive director, said in a statement. “She’s a steadfast supporter of our Second Amendment freedom and advocate of firearm safety. LaPierre then produced a picture of Palin in full hunting outfit brandishing her right palm on which was written “Point end with hole away from face.”

(Albany-NY) Embattled New York Governor David Paterson is expected to announce that he won’t seek reelection, but will remain as governor for the rest of the year. This is due to a “New York Times” story reporting that the governor may have intervened in a domestic assault case involving a top aide. Even though Paterson has asked the New York State Attorney General’s Office to conduct an investigation into the matter, sentiment is against him by both his party and the press. Paterson’s reversal to run came less than a week after his firm statement that he would run and win. A source close to Paterson revealed that he is in discussions with the Obama administration for a possible position. The Obama White House has had an eye on Paterson for some time since “we firmly commit to things and then change our minds all the time.”

(Washington, D.C.) The televised live bipartisan debate between President Obama and members of Congress was generally dubbed a “publicity stunt” by the media as well as political scholars, who are convinced that neither side was swayed. “Only the infirm or unemployed could have possibly sat home and watched it all,” said Douglas Brinkley, a professor Rice University. ” Pugnacious White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel immediately fired back at Brinkley. “Based on current unemployment records and those denied health care due to preexisting conditions, we estimate that more Americans were able to watch this discussion than the final episode of “Friends”. That’s what I call getting word out. I don’t know what the egghead calls it.”

(Tokyo-Japan) All Nippon Airways, ANA, will introduce women-only lavatories on its international routes starting next week. In a statement released by the airline, the gender based lavatories were not a result of “any specific complaints. It was just more a matter of general preference,” according to ANA spokesman Justin C. Massey. One women-only lavatory will be in the rear section of the passenger cabin. It will have a pink version of the universal sign for ladies’ room to let male travelers know to look for another option. ANA said there will be certain exceptions, if there are a fewer female flyers, for safety reasons or if there is a rush to join the mile high club.

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