Ed-E-torial #11: Britney Spears Belching. Paris Hilton Sucking. Dane Cook Gets Dissed!

(New York–NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It’s Ed-E-torial #11. Or as we like to call it: “The one where George “Wheelchair” Bush takes on George W. Bush.”

(Los Angeles-CA) Comedian Dane Cook has come under fire by Rolling Stone. The magazine claims, he’s “just not funny”. In a related note, Rolling Stone also accused singer Andrea Bocelli of “just riding on the sunglasses of such greats as Ray Charles and Jose Feliciano.” Since Bocelli doesn’t wear sunglasses, I’m as confused as you are on that comparison.

(New York-NY) Can’t get enough of O.J. doing his low speed version of The Fugitive? How about Michael Jackson when he and only dangled his own kids out of windows instead of sleeping with other people’s? The Pop-Up Book Of Celebrity Meltdowns features pop-up renderings of those and Mike Tyson whispering sweet nothings in Evander Holyfield’s ear while it’s in his mouth, Kate Moss doing cocaine, and, of course, Paris Hilton doing her boyfriend. Which begs the question, if Paris is going down, can it still be considered a pop-up?

MySpace, formerly known as the place for pedophiles, has a new title, the place for death row inmates. Thirty-four inmates awaiting execution have MySpace profiles. No, make that thirty-three. MySpace Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam responded by saying that the site offers free software to prisons that will block access by inmates so “not one additional dollar would have to be spent by the justice system to keep these individuals out of our community.” Nigam went on to say the software combined with MySpace having more bugs in its code than the NSA has on phone lines, “pretty much guarantees by the time Visitors actually get to these profiles the prisoners will all be dead anyway.”

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