(Los Angeles – CA) Following the popularity of MTV’s California based reality show The Hills, the network has decided to launch a new reality show targeted at teens in the Deep South. The Sticks will feature four teens growing up on a trailer court in Jonesboro, Arkansas. The series will debut with an episode featuring Clanton and Eula Mae going to the barn dance, learning they are second cousins, and then deciding to have sex anyway.
(Des Moines – IA) Is gay marriage constitutional in Iowa? The debate heats up as Iowa Representative George Jones plans to introduce a new law making it illegal for small minded people, more commonly known as idiots, to marry. Jones explained, “Everyone is so concerned about what allowing gays to marry and adopt children is doing to this world, but idiots, and the occasional miscreant, have been procreating under the state sanction of marriage for centuries,and it’s time to end it.”
(Fort Pierce – FL)After confessing to the murder of his parents, 16 year old Jacob Brighton, said he killed them because he was tired of disappointing them. The reasons for said disappointment? Excessive marijuana smoking, not having a job, and generally not sharing his father’s interests. Conspicuously absent from the list was committing double homicide. Brighton said that he is happy now “because no one is disappointed in me”. Jacob, bubby, that would be true, if the rest of us were okay with murder.
And stick around for our visit to Comic-Con, where we interview this guy who has a body full of Transformer tattoos.
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