(New York–NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It’s Ed-E-torial #14. Or as we like to call it: “The one where we introduce you to the REAL man behind George W. Bush.” Sorry to reveal it, George.
(Memphis-TN) The Weekly World News, the only paper that understands the true illegal alien problem is form the planet Sirap, reported what was perhaps the most bizarre Elvis sighting to date. An Eyewitness claimed the King simply said, “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
(Frankfurt-Germany) The press secretary for German Chancellor Angela Merkel denied when asked why the Teutonic leader served pig at a barbecue for George Bush, Merkel said “…to honor our guest with traditional Texas cuisine and to keep out the Jews.” The press secretary went on to say that Chancellor Merkel would have served the roast pork if it “kept Jews away or not.”
(Washington, D.C.) Just when you think it’s safe to join the CIA, fresh out of gastric bypass surgery Karl Rove today outed two more CIA agents by the names of Barbara and Laura Bush. Yes, them. In blowing the twins cover as spoiled, drunken, party girls, Rove said, “I can’t bear to see them put in harm’s way. I love them, and I want the whole world to know it.” In a related story, Rove converted to Mormon in the hopes of making the Bush twins his wives. Ah, love.
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