(New York–NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It’s Ed-E-torial #17. The one where Wheelchair Bob asks you, America, “A Clinton and Obama ticket in 2008, dream or nightmare?”
(Beijing China) Controversy erupted in the foreign adoption community when China attempted to woo Mother Theresa meets Mary Carey adopting machine Angelina Jolie by announcing an “express custom lane at Beijing International Airport for celebrities adopting seven babies or more.” In retaliation, Kenya announced an ad campaign to lure celebrities to its shores to adopt: “Once You Adopt Black. You Never Go Back.”
(Washington, D.C.) America’s favorite Republicrate, Joe Lieberman, announced a breakthrough at the Senate Committee on Homeland Security. Instead of Republicans and Democrats being seated on opposing sides, seating will now alternate Republican, Democrat, Republican, Democrat. In reaction to this, a response allegedly from Osama Bin Laden appeared on the Muslin extremist blog Jihad to Ask, “Oh my Allah, I am screwed now. I’d better give myself up right away.” Osama, sarcasm never solves anything.
(London-England) A sad day for the band that keeps on touring, the Rolling Stones marked the 23rd anniversary of Keith Richard’s death today. Band mate Mick Jagger perhaps said it best. “I know it’s been awhile but nobody has the heart to tell Keith he’s dead.”
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