Ed-E-torial Number 7: Kim Jong Il-in, John Kerry Tries Again and A Superhero for the New Millennium

(New York–NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It’s Ed-E-torial #7. Or as we like to call it: “The one where we introduce Pete the Superhero.”

(Washington-D.C.) A Democrat web ad was recently pulled because it was determined to be offensive to the immigrant communities both parties were trying to court this election. The ad squeezed images of two people attempting to cross a border fence between videos of Osama bin Laden and Kim Jong Il. It then asked, “Feel Secure?” In reaction to this, Osama Bin Laden released a video to Al Jazeera today in which he answers the question with, “As long as George Bush is running the War on Terror, I feel very secure.” Kim Jong Il was unavailable for comment due to an appointment with his hair stylist.

(Washington-D.C.) More mid-term election hi-jinks, 2004 face on the milk carton presidential candidate John Kerry sent an e-mail to 100,000 Democrat supporters in which he claimed then GOP Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, who also acted as President Bush’s honorary Ohio campaign co-chairman in the 2004 election, “used the power of his state office to try to intimidate Ohioans and suppress the Democratic vote.” While Kerry did not contest the Ohio results of the election in 2004, many political analysts believe he is doing so now because he is contemplating another run for President in 2008. Kerry answered critics, who claimed this proves he would be a President slow to act due to over analysis and getting bogged down in semantics with, “I’m not so much slow to act as I am not fast.”

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