Washington — Slowly and reluctantly, Bush has finally come to the conclusion that Iraq is a ‘we-must-get-out-of-it’ quagmire, and despite ‘Might and main,Tooth and nail, Hammer and tongs, Piss and vinegar, Blood and awe, and other macho slogans, he and his handlers had to finally come up with an exit strategy.
The difficulty of this, was that he had to retain his cowboy image and extricate the troops by some method that wouldn’t be another form of the ‘surrender’ he has accused the Democrats of proposing.
During a brain-storming session devoted to solving this dilemma, General David Petraeus proposed a brilliant solution,’EGRUS’, the reverse surge, which was unanimously approved.
In an address from the Oval Office next week, President Bush will tell the nation that “our ‘objective’ in Iraq has been achieved and Phase two is ‘Egrus’; Our troops will surge home! This will not be a cowardly retreat as proposed by the Democrats, but a victorious reverse surge home… in the other direction, .. Egrus!”
Soldiers and marines seated behind the president erupted in a roar of applause which they were ordered to do if they wanted to get their post-traumatic stress treated.
Nancy Pelosi, Democratic speaker of the house praised the president’s move. I wish we thought of that! The war is over! Bush will go down in history as perhaps the greatest president of all time!” she gushed.