Eighty Year Old Forced To Smoke Pot?

(Dayton-Ohio) Right on the heels, or embers, of the tape of an eighteen-month-old toddler forced to smoke marijuana, YouTube pulled a video of an eighty year old man forced to smoke pot at a Senior Center in Ohio.

The incident occurred last year at the Spume Retirement Complex in Dayton, Ohio. The man, Morris Kellner, appears to be smoking the marijuana in his living room surrounded by three men. Court Papers released today show that the men are Ed Crandell,72; William J Dunkel, 76 and Ward Boxler, 78, also inhabitants of the Spume Retirement Complex.

Kellner appearing to be smoking the marijuana from a pipe resembling a female breast, while Crandell, Dunkle and Boxler urge him to “suck that milk out” and “keep inhaling until you hit bra.” From the tape, it is not clear if Kellner actually knew if it was a pipe or an actual female breast. At times, he is heard to say, “Wow, this is good stuff” and “If only my Pall Malls did this, I’d still be smoking.” However, at other points in the video, Kellner seems to think that he is getting lucky at a strip club, making statements such as “I can’t believe she’s letting me do this! I didn’t even have to give her any dollar bills.” Further into the fifteen minute tape, Kellner is seen, on the urging of the three other men, walking down the street and then groping a Spume employee, care giver Enid Alsop. Kellner is then seen taking out a tobacco like substance and telling Alsop, “Drop your top. I need a hit.”

The answer to the question of was he actually coerced into smoking the marijuana will be the defense task of the lawyers hired by the three men. Joshua Blumenthal. Blumenthal believes it’s not the case. In a press conference this morning, he addressed the matter. “If you look at the tape, you can see that this man is no eighteen-month old. He knew what he was doing” He also commented on the Alsop groping. “And if I were him, I’d hire me to try and get out of that sexual harassment charge.” However, Dayton Ohio Assistant District Attorney, Melvin Claritin, has a different view. “This man may be eighty years old, but he has the level of trust of an eighteen-month old. You put a supple, ceramic breast shaped pot pipe in front of him and what do you think he’ll do? This man hasn’t seen pert breasts since the second Nixon Presidency.”

Preliminary hearings are scheduled for next week. Crandell, Dunkle and Boxler have been released on their own recognizance since all men have agreed to relinquish the battery chargers to their Rascals.

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