Eric Cantor Hospitalized After Hitting Debt Ceiling

Unconfirmed sources are reporting that House Republican Eric Cantor has been hospitalized with minor head injuries after an accident in the Capitol Building last night. Cantor was apparently returning to his office after a late night meeting with members of his caucus when the accident occurred.

Cantor, a tall man, hit the debt ceiling and was knocked unconscious. Capitol emergency workers extracted Cantor from the dangerous area and he was rushed to Walter Reed hospital for treatment.

“The debt ceiling is very dangerous if you get too close to it,” Says emergency worker William Spendmoore. “You just shouldn’t mess around with the debt ceiling. It is very sharp and the risk of long term injury is just too great. They really should just raise the darn thing before more people get hurt. It’s just not right to leave it like that.”

Capitol maintenance crews have been dispatched to fix the debt ceiling problem, but apparently they have made little progress as there is no consensus as to how to raise it.