Extended Stay America Announces New Guantanamo Bay Location

Unconfirmed sources report the popular hotel chain will build a 550 room “Corporate housing unit” over looking the trendy tropical beach at Guantanamo Bay Cuba. Share prices of the hotel chain rose 15% on the news. Investors drove the firms stock to a 52 week high based on the souring of relations with Iran, Syria and North Korea. With the Bush Administration’s war of terror scheduled to last indefinitely and no changes planned for the illegal detention policy, the need for permanent housing at Gitmo will only be expanding.

Planners indicate the facility will be similar, with a few exceptions to the standard hotel complexes the firm has been building around the United States. Because many of the long term guests are unlawful enemy combatants with no hope of trial or return to society the Gitmo “hotel” has been designed to accommodate their “special” needs. The new Gitmo “hotel” will have upgraded doors, windows and an “augmented” guest personal security system.

The basement of the complex will have a large number sound proof multi purpose “Freedom” suites. These “Freedom” suites will be used to “interview” and used to “stimulate” cooperation of the hotel guests. The “freedom” suites like the entire US military base on Guantanamo Bay have been sanctioned as an “anything goes because we are at war ” zone. The Pentagon has designed new a oversight program to insure none of the hotel guests rights are violated. When new guests check in they will be “induced” to sign a constitutional and human rights waiver.

US attorney General Alberto Gonzales personally drafted the Gitmo torture policy and new rights waiver. Responding to Amnesty International’s critical reports Gonzales fired back. “Once they sign the rights waiver there is technically no abuse, that is what the President has instructed me to say.”

Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza Rice are scheduled to speak at the ground breaking ceremony. In route to Gitmo Mr. Rumsfeld commented. “With our policy of indefinite internment Extended Stay America is the ideal firm to manage the prisoners at Guantanamo bay.