Exxon Downplays Yellowstone River Oil Spill


Exxon executives explained today that the oil spill contaminating the Yellowstone River near Billings Montana only extended for 10 miles so it is “no big deal”.

“The spill only goes for ten miles or so and that’s like nothing”, said Exxon Executive Gary Pruessing. “And it’s only like a thousand barrels. It’s not a major catastrophe”.

Pruessing said there is nothing to be worried about, nothing bad will happen and everything is “just swell”.

“Every time Exxon farts it spills more oil than that”, Pruessing continued. “This spill is so small we don’t even have to clean it up!”

Pruessing stated that the small amount of oil that spilled will enter the Missouri River where it will be washed clean and no damage will be done to the environment.

“Don’t worry about anything folks”, he declared. “In a few weeks you can go back to the river and go canoeing, fish and do whatever people do in rivers”.