FCC Approves Apple's amazing iPhone

WASHINGTON — The Federal Communications Commission has approved Apple’s iPhone. Still in its developmental stage, when it hits the market, it will offer numerous features never before available.

Design engineer Dan Singer describes some of these:

” People have been asking for more facilities on their cell phones, and we have added many new ones to the standard features they already have, such as camera and text….. Our new i’Phone, still in its prototype stage, will incorporate a washer-dryer, post hole driller, diaper changer, 12 gauge shotgun, barbecue grill, tire changer, riding mower, the Bible translated into four hundred languages, chain saw, every song every written and a bottle opener. We are now solving the last problem; how to reduce this eight hundred pound phone to one ounce.”

Peggy Mumser of Queens, New York says she is looking forward to buying one of the iPhones. ” The vacuum cleaner attachment on my Motorola cell phone doesn’t work too well” she complained.