Federal Government Creates GOD To Watch Citizens

The US Government has secretly created a new watchdog agency to monitor the activities of each and every American via cell phones, computers and surveillance cameras for 24 hours each day, 365 or 366 days a year, including leap years. The new agency will be called Government Observation of Demographics (GOD).

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano will be overseeing GOD for the time being until a permanent replacement can be found.

“”We have created GOD in the interests of protecting Americans and those living in America”, Napolitano explained. “We have found more and more terrorists look like average Americans and is has become difficult to distinguish a terrorist from a non-terrorist. Therefore, we have created this agency to surreptitiously monitor each person at all times to be certain they are not engaging in terrorist or illegal activities”.

The US Supreme Court has already determined that monitoring cell phones, computers and other forms of wireless communication to be Constitutional, however, the one percent of Americans who still rely exclusively on land lines will be exempt.

“Terrorists do not use land lines and GOD will not bother them”, Napolitano clarified. “But beware, those of you who use computers or cell phones, GOD is watching!”

Napolitano said that GOD will be watching every time a person uses Skype, Google Phone or any kind of video or audio medium.

“Also, GOD will be watching every email you send out to make sure you are not doing anything illegal or immoral”, Napolitano warned.

“We see you when you’re sleeping, we know when your awake, we know if you’ve been bad or good so the choice is yours!” Napolitano concluded.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and Google CEO Eric Schmidt admit that GOD is now controlling their companies.