CRAWFORD TX– President Bush unwound at his Texas ranch today, after exhausting himself with a violent tirade against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi following her trip to Syria. ” Who the hell does she think she is?” shouted a red-faced President.
I’m running this war! Not the people, Congress, Pelosi…. and the rest of those wimpy liberals who believe in sissy-talk diplomacy. Have you noticed that you don’t see much of Connie Rice anymore?”
” War is the only option. Guns, not talk!” he said, as he sipped a latte on his veranda before strapping on twin six-shooters, and a cowboy hat and boots for a photo shoot.
” If those Democrats think they can make me stop the war by holding up its funding, they can think again. They don’t know that for years we’ve been quietly stashing away our old fighter planes. tanks and battleships, which we can send over there to blast them Islamo-terrorists up to their sky virgins.”
The hairdressers, beauticians, boot-polishers, make-up artists, lighting crew, camermen and sound technicians cheered and clapped, as they worked feverishly to remake the President into a rugged ‘Marlboroman’ for the Fox News Special ” “Troops, Follow Your Leader!”