General Stanley McChrystal Admits Selling Secrets to Wikileaks


Recently retired United States General Stanley McChrystal admitted today that he has sold military secrets to Wikileaks.org for the past several years.

“I admit I have sold some documents to that organization”, McChrystal told Unconfirmed Sources. “Being a General doesn’t pay very much and I’m not getting any younger. They offered me a good price and I took it”.

McChrystal recently retired from the Army and he says he now has a nice financial ‘cushion’ for his retirement years. He did caution that his retirement years may not be spent in the United States.

“Now that everyone knows about me selling out I will probably have to move to some other country to avoid being boned up the ass in prison for the rest of my life”, the ex-General stated.

McChrystal argued that he has become hardened as a result of spending most of his adult life killing people. “Human life never meant much to me. I don’t think twice about killing people that get in my way”.

McChrystal says he is not concerned about what satirists say about him. “Hey, this story is going in Unconfirmed Sources, not the Rolling Stone! Everyone knows Unconfirmed Sources writes fabricated bullshit!”

McChrystal also revealed that in his spare time he enjoys wearing bras, panties and other ladies clothes and offered no apologies for doing so.

“J. Edgar Hoover was a ‘man’s man’ and he also liked dressing up in ladies things”, McChrystal stated.