Unconfirmed sources report that George W. Bush has declared “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq as US and Iraqi forces have arrested and deported the entire population of the country. The President made that announcement at a brief early morning press conference at the White House. The President, flanked by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, told the nation about the joint US Iraqi operation called “Clean Sweep” and declared it an unqualified success.
“We have apprehended the evil doers in Iraq that have been killing our brave fighting men and women.” Said The President today. “The arrest of over 26 million bad actors in Iraqi will smooth the way for regular Iraqi’s to reclaim there country. Americans should be proud of our armed forces, they, with the help of brave Iraqis, have put an end to this terrible struggle against terror. God Bless America’s brave fighting men and women!”
Operation Clean sweep began late yesterday with all elements of the US armed forces and Iraqi security forces taking part. Troops started at the south of the country and worked north arresting every man, women, and child in Iraq. As the operation came to a close the Iraqi forces them arrested themselves and surrendered to American troops. The detainees were then loaded in to a fleet of commercial jet liners and flown out of the country. Their exact destination is a mystery, but many believe that they are bound for Guantanamo Bay Cuba, where extensive building has been underway for several months.
“This is just the type of bold action that it will take to get the Iraqi situation under control.” Say Middle East expert Juan Cole. “I can’t say that I agree with the tactic, considering the fact that it is their country after all, but I think the Bush administration was running out of options. I mean short of killing them all, what can you do when an entire country and three quarters of the world thinks you are a power hungry clod who doesn’t know an engaged foreign policy from a hole in the ground. Clearing out the entire 26 million person population of Iraq, might seem like a reasonable option to President Bush. It is going to get a little crowded in Cuba however.”
The search is on for pro-American Iraqis to populate the country, now that the rogue elements have been evicted. Our sources indicate that they have found several and at least two of them say are willing to return to Iraq.