Unconfirmed sources report that President Bush has ordered the nations flags to be flown at half staff for another 3 days in memory of The Ayatollah Khomeini. Federal agencies have been instructed to raise the flag to full height and then lower them again for another 3 days to make the gesture equal to that of the tribute to Pope John Paul II.
“The President ordered the tribute to right the wrong this country committed by not honoring the Ayatollah Khomeini when he died in 1989.” Said White House spokesman Ben Lion. “The President feels strongly that this grave injustice needed to be remedied so that Muslims across the world would know that America values the Muslim faith as much as it values Catholicism.”
“The Ayatollah Khomeini was a great spiritual leader for the Muslim faith as Pope John Paul II was a great leader for Catholics.” Said the President during an East Room Press Conference. “Ayatollah Khomeini was a great man. I don’t agree with everything he stood for, but I didn’t agree with everything the Pope said either. You don’t have to be in complete agreement with someone to hold a good dialogue. The world is just not so clean cut, it’s not an ‘either you are with us or you are against us’ kind of place.”
Muslims from across the globe are hailing the gesture as proof that the Bush administration is not waging a war against the Muslim faith. “This marks a real turning point for the Bush administration.” Remarked Juan Cole in his Blog Informed Comment. “Muslims are accepting the gesture as a commitment to strengthening a dialogue between the Western and Arab worlds. I must admit that when I had heard the news I figured it was just another cynical ploy of the President to curry favor with somebody. But once again Bush has convinced me that he knows the Arab street better than I. My sources tell me that Arabs like Mr. Bush’s straight forward and heartfelt approach to mending the gaps between Christian and Arab peoples. Kudos, Mr. Bush. Kudos.”
Even regular Americans see that the gesture needed to be done. “I reckon it was about time we buried the hatchet with the Iranians.” Admitted Bob Jenkins from Hicksville Georgia. “I sure was sore at a the Ayatollah Khomeini for the whole hostage deal, but when you consider he was also an important religious leader it makes sense to give him the honor he deserves. I mean, hell, I’m no Catholic mackerel snapper and I think honoring the Pope is a good idea, so why not honor the A-Rabs religious leader too. Makes sense to me.”
Our White House sources indicated that the flag that flies over the White House during the time of mourning will be given to the Iranians and draped over the Ayatollah Khomeini’s tomb.