George W. Bush: "Bin Laden Dead Mission Accomplished, again!"

(Pakistan) Ucs News International– Unconfirmed sources report Bin Laden has died of Typhoid fever. Speaking from the White House lawn in a hastily prepared press conference, President George W. Bush claimed credit for waiting him out. “I knew if we let him run wild in Pakistan he would eventually die, mission accomplished!” Mission accomplished, except for the war in Iraq.

The President’s plan was cunning indeed, the attack on Iraq was a diversion intended to distract the worlds’ attention from the real plan to kill Osama Bin Laden. According to Karl Rove, it has been the top secret master plan from 9/12/2001. “The President knew if we did nothing for long enough we would win.”

Not chasing Bin Laden allowed the Bush administration to focus on other tasks. Mainly attacking Iraq and stealing the 2004 election. Ignoring Bin Laden also left the administration free to pursue tax cuts for wealthy campaign donors and oil companies.

The death of Bin Laden could not have come at a better time for the Bush administration. With the midterm election only weeks away, struggling Republicans needed a boost in the polls. Speaking to the Council of Foreign Relations, noted Mideast expert Juan Cole expressed his concerns, “I fear the administration will claim credit for doing nothing in the war on terror and use it as an advantage in the current election.”

According to Professor Cole, the US could “kill Bin Laden ten times over, this doesn’t put Americans back to work or get the US out of Iraq any sooner.”