(White House, Oval office) Unconfirmed sources report the critical plans needed for the peaceful transition of Iraq went missing in the days after the fall of Bagdad. The lost plans detailed the military and political strategies the Bush administration had carefully planned in the hours leading up to the conflict. The plans were complete and ready to implement, but according to key White House staffers the plans were tossed out by Oralia Gonzales, the night time cleaning lady.
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan disclosed the loss of the top secret documents today in a Press briefing. “Yes, The loss of the plans was a set back that no one could have foreseen. It’s been very difficult for the President to run the Iraq policy without a strategy but I think he has been doing a fine job in-light of the adversity.” Senior staffers also complained the President should be praised for is handling of the war considering he had no plan to complete it.
Critics claim that once again the Administration is looking for a another scape goat for the iraq war quagmire. Juan Cole, Noted expert on the middle east and outspoken blogger (JuanCole.com) made a rare informed comment on the situation. “Last week President George W. Bush blamed the Democrats and now this time it’s Oralia Gonzales the night time cleaning lady assigned to the oval office. It is just a shame the President doesn’t just ask Dick Cheney and Donald Rumfilled to resign.”
Brushing critics aside the Republican controlled congress has launched a special investigation into the failure of the white house cleaning staff. In a closed hearing in front of the House Intelligence committee Gonzales was grilled for hours. When questioned about the day in question Oralia confessed she threw out a snoopy napkin and several fig newton bars left over from the Presidents afternoon snack. “Mr. Bush always has cookies after is afternoon naps, I never saw any top secret plans for the Iraqi transition. ” said Gonzales. “I swear”
In the wake of Cleanup gate Mrs. Gonzales resigned her position as Oval office cleaning lady. In a statement released to the press she regrets the Presidents decision to lay the blame for the failure in Iraq at her tired and sore feet.