George W. Bush Blasts FEMA's Response To New Orleans Hurricane Disaster

Unconfirmed sources report that The President has found FEMA’s response to hurricane Katrina’s aftermath “unacceptable” and that “heads would roll” at FEMA. The President took a tour of hurricane ravaged New Orleans yesterday and saw the damage and lawlessness first hand. Mr. Bush spoke with dozens of flood victims and assured them that he was doing everything in his power to help them. The President’s visit was cut short however when an armed gang of looters tried to commandeer Marine One, the President’s helicopter.

“This is a total cluster f&*K.” said the President at a press conference during his visit to New Orleans. “I can’t believe that FEMA has done such a crappy job getting this situation under control. I’m mad as hell and I’m going to do something about it as soon as If figure out how to do it without looking like a chump.”

“Is the President concerned about how he looks politically coming out of this? Heck yes!” says right wing seer Andrew Sullivan. “The president has some serious exposure here. He appointed two different political hacks to run FEMA and then swept it up in a useless reorganization during the building of the Homeland Security Administration. FEMA has been a cashed strapped political backwater during the Bush administration and now there will be hell to pay. If I were Michael D. Brown, director of FEMA I would be brushing up my resume. “

“As I see it the President has two options here.” says emergency response expert Guy Waring. “He can sack FEMA Director Michael D. Brown and get someone who knows what he is doing in there or he can brazen it out, blame the local officials and give Michael D. Brown the Presidential medal of Freedom. Either plan could work but the President is pretty partial to just gutting things out and promoting the person who mucked it to save political face. ”

It comes as so surprise to many that FEMA is an organizational basket case when faced with a real crisis considering who the President t has had running the place for the last 6 years. FEMA has been the home of political hacks whom the President wanted to thank but would give a real job too.

The Presidents first FEMA director was Joe M. Allbaugh who served as President Bush’s national campaign manager for Bush-Cheney 2000. Prior to that Allbaugh was Governor Bush’s chief of staff in Texas from 1995 to 2000. Allbaugh left FEMA in 2000 to run a cozy Washington private consulting company to help companies make millions and war profiteering in Iraq. Needless to say Allbaugh greatest qualifications to head FEMA were that he could raise lots of money and lie real well.

Mr. Bush’s current FEMA Director Michael D. Brown is not much better that Allbaugh. Brown was FEMA’s head lawyer and apparently the only one left after Allbaugh took off. Brown’s qualifications to run FEMA are that he is a loyal Republican and is sort of tele-genic