George W. Bush breaks tax pledge, Higher taxes on the way!

Unconfirmed Sources report the Bush administration will submit a new tax proposal to the Republican controlled House of Representatives. The new tax bill contains 14 billion dollars of new taxes designed to reduce the level of poverty in the United states by 22% in the next three years. Tom Delay (R-Tx) House majority leader, generally a harsh critic of any new taxes, has pledged his support for the new Poverty Reduction Act. Delay, speaking to the press outside his office declared, “It’s about time we stopped poverty in it tracks, like alcohol and cigarettes it’s time we tax the hell out of it.”

The Poverty Reduction Act of 2005 will slap a heavy tax burden on those citizens living below the national poverty line. White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan detailed the administrations’ policy; “Our goal is make living in poverty very uncomfortable, even untenable. If we tax the poor high enough they will be forced to get more money. Grover Norquist, president of the group Americans for Tax Reform admits, “This is the tough love side of compassionate conservatism, but we must take drastic action to reduce poverty in America.”

Founder of the Club for Growth, Steve Moore, agrees this will be tough for many, but is long over due. “This legislation is just the hand up that 37 million Americans need to get out of poverty.” Moore went on to explain “Lets admit that entitlements don’t help, job training and education haven’t worked, incarceration is working but is just too expensive and too much trouble.”

Others inside the Bush administration are working on programs to complement the increased tax burden on the poor. Dick Cheny and Donald Rumsfeld, speaking to Pentagon staffers explain some new options. “We are considering mandatory military service for those below the poverty line but our adversaries in congress and the left wing liberal media have slapped the “Draft ” label on that proposal, so that option is out.”