George W. Bush Bribes Poland, Donald Rumsfeld Begs NATO And The White House Gay Porn Scandal- Un…

The Hessians Are Coming, The Hessians Are Coming!:

American President George W. Bush is taking a page from another George, in this case Great Britain’s King George III. With the War in Iraq going badly and America’s troops stretched too thin across the world, President Bush has taken to paying Poland’s armed forces one hundred million dollars to fight with the United States, much the way King George III tried to keep the Thirteen Colonies in the British fold by hiring Hessian troops to fight for him. This strategy worked a treat at Trenton, New Jersey on Christmas in 1776. The hope is if Poland will keep it’s 2,500 troops in Iraq then the war is as good as won.

So What’s In It For Us?:

In a related story, Secretary of De(fe)nse Donald Rumsfeld has indicated that NATO countries may be more forthcoming with military and financial aid to Iraq. Sounding more and more like George Bush, syntax-wise, Mr. Rumsfeld answered reporters saying, “They (NATO countries) ought to help, one would think. Yeah, you hope. On the hand, it’s still dangerous there, and that’s a fact that countries take into account, so we’ll really have to kick out some major cash to make it worth the lives of their soldiers. This is one of the reasons why we have to gut Social Security. For example, we’re paying Poland $40,000 per soldier and we may have to pay Great Britain upwards of $60,000 per man cause they speak English. Luckily the Italians are only asking for $20.00 a man, which is still a bit steep for them, but hey, you do what you gotta do.”

Another One Bites The… Dust:

The fallout from the Armstrong Williams scandal continues with another Conservative ringer calling it quits. It may be remembered that Mr. Williams, who together with his partner, Oprah Winfrey’s boyfriend Stedman Graham, accepted $240,000 to tout Mr. Bush’s No Child Left Behind Initiative. Next to reveal accepting payments from the Administration was anti gay marriage author Maggie Gallagher, who took twenty one large from Mr. Bush’s government. Now the latest, and to this writers mind the most interesting, “reporter” Jeff Gannon, who runs the Conservative Republican website Talon-News and was given a White House Press Pass and access to classified CIA memos relating to agent Valerie Plame has been forced to shut down his e-zine. It was learned that Mr. Gannon, who’s real name is Jim Guckert, also owns several Gay Prostitution web sites such as HotMilitaryStud.com, MilitaryEscorts.com and MilitaryEscortsM4M.com. The self described “white conservative man who owns a gun, drives a sport utility vehicle and is a born again Christian” neglected to put in his bio that he also makes a few bucks pimping male soldiers for gay sex.