Unconfirmed Sources indicate that The President is so heart broken over the loss of life in South Asia that he has decided to donate all the money raised for his inauguration to Tsunami related relief efforts. All 35 inauguration day events have been cancelled and the actual ceremony has even been scaled back to save money. The total amount of money donated will exceed 50 million dollars. Relief agencies are greeting the news with joy and are already making plans to spend the money.
“It’s the right thing to do.” Said White House spokesmen Ben Lion. “The President is a god fearing compassionate man and he just could not see himself sipping champagne with rich muckety mucks when the world is in such great need. He is already the President so this lavish spending is wasteful when the money could be spent to save the lives of thousands of people in peril in Southeast Asia.
“This is really going to set the stage for a revitalized role for the U.S. in the region.” Noted Henry Kissinger. “President Bush is taking this opportunity to prove that the U.S. is a real team player on the world stage, and not just some neo-colonialist bully throwing its weight around. I’m looking forward to more leadership of this kind out of the White House in the coming years.
“What a great move by The President.” Said respected Washington insider Andrew Sullivan. “He has proven to the world, and many Muslims specifically, that he cares about them and is not totally focused on Iraq and Mid-East oil. His kind gesture comes as a real to surprise to many, but not me. Most people believed The President would ignore the crisis until public pressure forced his hand, then they thought he would toss a few million on the aid pile, send a couple functionaries, and then get back to the business of destabilizing Iraq and Social Security. Well, they were wrong. The President is taking a strong and noble leadership role in providing aid to the stricken countries in the region. Bravo Mr. Bush, Bravo.”