George W. Bush Clashes With Protesters At G8 Summit And Is Arrested. But That's A Good Thing.


United States President George W. Bush, apparently suffering from a great deal of stress due to the failing war in Iraq, an anemic economy and the Valerie Plame scandal, found himself throwing off any semblance of presidential decorum when he threw himself into a scuffle with G8 protesters as he exited Air Force One in Edinburgh, Scotland. Scottish police, mistakenly thinking that the American President was another protester wearing one of those goofy presidents masks, arrested him and took him in “to assist in their inquiries.” It took several hours for White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove to locate Mister Bush and post his bond.

However, instead of becoming another one of those classic Bush missteps, this particular episode is already having positive ramifications. As is well known, George Bush has always had many of the same attitudes of the very people who are protesting against him. He has always been uncomfortable at best with Globalization, rarely if ever traveling from the United States before becoming president. In addition, he is a pacifist… while war mongers such as John McCain and John Kerry volunteered for military service in Vietnam George W. Bush opted out of hurting anyone by joining the Texas Air National Guard; when even this turned out to be too militaristic Mr. Bush went AWOL for a year rather than serve. He was also a major figure on the party circuit before falling in with the Fundamentalist Movement. So, there are many parallels between Mr. Bush and the very people who are against him.

For Mr. Bush, the arrest seems to have precipitated an epiphany. During the five hours that Karl Rove was looking for Bush, the president was receiving an intensive re-indoctrination into radical disobedience from his fellow imprisoned protesters. President Bush emerged from the Scottish goal with his tie wound around his head like a headband, his tee shirt spray painted with anti-corporate slogans and barefoot. Screaming “Impeach Me!” and “Fuck Haliburton!” Mr. Bush was hustled into his waiting limo and whisked away.

“Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, ” This is exactly what we were afraid of. Why do you think we keep George Bush away from everybody that disagrees with us? It’s not because George Bush is afraid of them, it’s because we know he’s so impressionable that it’s dangerous for him to be exposed to anything that goes against our agenda. It was hard enough getting him off drugs and alcohol. Now all of our work has been undone. He’s been sitting cross-legged on the hotel room floor listening to Green Day and U2, trying to get Laura back into pot; something she seems to be a little too enthusiastic about. He keeps mumbling stuff like, “Gonna drop the big one on GE” and “I can understand the whales when they talk to me.” It’s kinda cute in a way…his hairs spiked and colored now and I gotta say, Laura is looking pretty hot in a belly shirt, cargo pants and sandals.”